And you know what? I am super proud of myself. In a way, coming here was my high school exchange re-do. I know that sounds kind of bad, but this experience, while completely separate and different in nearly all ways, has been hugely important to me. After I returned early from Japan in 2008, I had a daily battle with what ifs. Now I feel like less of a failure and even though this isn't me in high school, I feel like I've been able to experience things that I missed out on before.
That's not to say things are always sunshine and rainbows here. It can be tough. Culture shock is a real thing - sometimes disabilitatingly so. I have a lot of frustrations with my job. Sometimes I wish I hadn't signed on for another year.
On the other hand, there are tons of things we have yet to see and do. I know that I want this second year. One year really is too short. And it's gone by so quickly, I know I might even feel the same after two.
Chizu is a gorgeous town and overall I really enjoy life here in Tottori. I love being able to see these mountains every day. Although living in a small town can sometimes be stifling, I love the friendliness here in Chizu. People are so kind. I've come to enjoy the small town life. I do love the city too, but I find it refreshing to be back home in Chizu, where life is a less stressful.
At this point, we're thinking of leaving next summer. Although life here is pretty good, I'm not sure I could endure another year of ALTing. This is a bit of a dead-end career, and I don't think being an ALT is something I could be happy with long-term. This has been a great experience, but I feel ready to start my real life. I also think it's probably best for Yana to start 1st grade in Canada. I think the transition for her would be far more difficult if she attended 1st, 2nd, or 3rd grade here in Japan and then suddenly had to switch to Canadian school. I think it would be difficult for her to catch up. (On the other hand, I sometimes think she would have a great experience in Japanese elementary school; there are a lot of nice things about it, especially for the younger grades). Another factor is the weather. Without central heating or air conditioning, it's freezing in winter and blistering hot and humid in summer. Food is another frustration. There isn't much available in our small town and since we don't eat a lot of Japanese food, it's tough sometimes. These are little problems, but after a while they really become grating. Anyway, I feel like I'd rather leave on a positive note. I'm afraid that if we stay for 3 years, life will become a daily struggle and I'll come to hate this place. That's something I don't want. That's how I left Japan before, and it had a hugely negative impact on me.
